My Dear Keli

Psalms 119:73-77 (NIV)
73 Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands.
74 May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word.
75 I know, Lord, that your laws are righteous,
and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.
76 May your unfailing love be my comfort,
according to your promise to your servant.
77 Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight.

Dear Biological Father • I Forgive You

img_5819In my youth, I endured sexual childhood trauma by my biological paternal parent for many years. Unfortunately, the abuse led to years of me feeling lost, unworthy of love, tainted and alone. Untrusting, I maintained complete isolation from all childhood activities.

During my adolescent years, I was filled with a sadness that I could not understand or explain. This sadness soon led to many years of what I now know to be diagnosed as “post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), severe clinical depression and suicidal ideation.
After becoming a young mother, at the age of 17, and again at 20, my only solace was the comfort of my own surroundings, my daughters, and reading. I began to find solace in reading the bible. I have always known about God since I was a young child.

Satan wants me to feel shamed. At the tender age of four, I was exposed to incest, sodomy and eventually rape. I am now well into my late 40s, and my childhood experiences still silently creep back into areas of life unto this very day. In my darkest moments, I did not realize that my PURPOSED ISOLATION gave the enemy direct access to my thoughts, actions, reactions and perceptions.

Even as I continue to mature in Christ, I still endure occasional night terrors, periods of sadness or weeks of depression; but I must continually remind myself that I am a daughter of the most high KING. Always remember, sometimes we have to minister TO OURSELVES.

Everyday, I am thankful for a Spiritual Healing that comes ONLY from having a personal, intimate relationship with GOD. I believe that God pens the spiritual writings of my life daily, so that my testimony can be used by GOD to empower and heal others who also suffer in silence. Silence for many of us is deafening! Sometimes, it’s even difficult to hear the voice of God. Please know, GOD HAS NEVER LEFT YOU.

You see, I am a Wife, Mother, Grandmother (MomMom), a Registered Nurse of almost 20 years, and a graduate student specializing in Pastoral Counseling and Community Care. Yet, I too succumb to the tricks and distractions of the enemy. But I am quickly reminded that I am healed; I am loved; and I am Blessed! ✟ Satan has no power or authority over my life! And I REMIND HIM of that in EVERY SITUATION or circumstance.

I thank GOD for allowing my thorn [pain and despair] to be used for the good. I am a fierce protector of GOD’s people. I am POSITIONED & PURPOSED to be a caregiver. I often reflect on the good, bad, and ugly moments of my life, and I smile, because I know that GOD NEVER LEFT ME. I give him the glory of who I am NOW in Christ! I yearn for GOD to use me, because you see….any one of my patients COULD HAVE BEEN ME.

Allow God to use your testimony to heal others too! And remember, YOU ARE LOVED!

Blessings
Keli Taylor

Never Forsaken

1B19A701-F0DB-43A2-8897-3ABF1EDB5C542 Corinthians 12:7-9
(7) So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations,
a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. (8) Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. (9) But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

At the tender age of four, I experienced my very first sexual encounter. I am now well into my late 40s, and my childhood experiences silently creep back into areas of life til this very day. This blog will be filled with truth, transparency, heartache, pain, tears and revelation. But, there will amazing moments of healing and laughter, friendships and forgiveness. For years, GOD has been tugging at my heartstrings to share my story. Only until now, do I spiritually feel strong enough to become obedient. My LORD reminds me that the enemy WANTS me to suffer in silence. Satan wants me to feel shamed. My PURPOSED ISOLATION gives the enemy direct access to my thoughts and dreams. But no more!!! I must continually remind myself that I am a daughter of the most high KING.

So, walk with me as I begin the spiritual journey of healing. Never before have I shared my story. BUT GOD continues to press upon my heart, that my testimony must be told. Join me in celebrating a Spiritual Healing that comes ONLY from having a personal, intimate relationship with GOD. I believe that the spiritual writing of my life, will be used by GOD to empower others who too, suffer in silence. Silence for us is deafening…..until we are given a voice. Please know, GOD HAS NEVER LEFT YOU. This I know. {Genesis 50:20} – As for you (Satan), you meant evil against me, but GOD meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.

You see, I am a Baccalaureate prepared Registered Nurse of almost 20 years, who see in my patients, what I once saw in myself. Men or women, overwhelmed with personal heartache and pain; invisible to most; unwanted by others…lost souls left unloved. We (‘Professionals’ of today’s society), often JUDGE people quickly, without knowing their story. Not taking a moment to listen to his or her testimony…..not being Christ-like in the work force. But instead, we quickly judge, label people, condemn them, and write them off as outcasts of society.

BUT I thank GOD for allowing my pain and despair to be used for the good. I am a fierce protector of GOD’s people. I was POSITIONED & PURPOSED to be a caregiver. I have reflected on the good, bad, and ugly moments of my life, and I smile, because I know that GOD NEVER LEFT ME. I give him the glory of who I am NOW in Christ! I yearn for GOD to use me, because you see….any one of my patients COULD HAVE BEEN ME.

KT

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